FREEDOM FROM SHAME
How Masturbation is a Natural, Normal Spiritual Practice
Masturbation is natural and normal.
Where in the Bible does it say not to masturbate?
I don’t see that in the Bible anywhere. I grew up Catholic and has suffered from the guilt of my sexuality because of religion for many years.
Then it dawned on me one day that I’m being controlled.
Are you being controlled?
I mean, how can you know for sure?
Who knows? 🤷🏽♀️
We may all have a belief system that we don’t even question or even know why we believe what we believe. We walk around like zombies automatically falling into thought…well…without a thought.
If we are not careful we will fall into this mental trap.
There’s is this social conditioning and agreement that any exploration of sexuality and masturbation is shameful, wrong, evil or bad especially in women.
Don’t get me wrong there is some truly evil shameful, dirty, disgusting aspects about sex that I’ll get into a little later on.
But our churches, our schools, our peers and our parents dance around the subject of masturbation as if it’s some secret dirty thing people do.
No wonder so many women feel so uncomfortable even talking about it.
I’ve lost “friends“ on Instagram for even broaching the subject on something that is normal and natural. The stats shows that my “ likes” went down whenever I talked about masturbation.
Why is that?
Discomfort, shame and limiting beliefs about masturbation
Now, here is why it’s important to understand why masturbation is natural and normal first before reading anything else.
This ensures that you’re not reading this article through the filter of shame imprinted from social conditioning and it opens you up into sexual freedom.
Stick with me here, because if we don’t understand this we may hit a snag and minimizing any negative or limiting beliefs about masturbating will be close to impossible.
So to the believers of masturbation the following will be encouraging.To the nonbelievers the following will be eye-opening.
Here is why masturbation is so natural & normal babies do it.
I have compiled eye-opening quotes from four different reputable websites which argues for the normalcy of masturbation.
I researched it so you don’t have to:)
According to The New York Times article entitled “Why Is Children’s Masturbation Such a Secret?”
- “Masturbation is completely safe sex, a way for young people to experience sexual pleasure not with other people, risk-free, and that’s a good thing too,”
- Masturbation is more than the normal inspection of the genitals commonly observed in 2-year-olds during baths. During masturbation, a child usually appears dazed, flushed, and preoccupied. A child may masturbate as often as several times each day or just once a week.
- Up to a third of children in this age group discover masturbation while exploring their bodies. Often they continue to masturbate simply because it feels good.
- Masturbation is a common activity. It’s a natural and safe way to explore your body, feel pleasure, and release built-up sexual tension. It occurs among people of all backgrounds, genders, and races. Despite the myths, there are actually no physically harmful side effects of masturbation.
According to Kids Health:
- It is natural for children to express their sexuality and their interest in the differences between the sexes through their behaviour. How they do this depends on their stage of development. It is important to understand the difference between normal sexual behaviour and behaviour outside the expected range in each age group.
As a side note. If you’re already uncomfortable talking about sex and masturbation, I get how the subject of sex and children can raise your eyebrow.
To ease any discomfort I would be remiss to mention what is REALLY horrific and shameful; sex assault :
SEX ABUSE IS WRONG, SHAMEFUL, EVIL AND BAD
In no way shape or form is sexual abuse acceptable in anyone especially children. My heart goes out to anyone who has experience an adult who has overstepped their boundaries and has taken advantage of and therefore scarred the natural curiosities of human beings.
To do this is shameful, wrong, evil and bad because it defiles & scars body with physical, emotional and spiritual pain.
The sexually assaulted may have a lifetime of insecurities and embarrassment around the subject of sex.
We hear of the misaligned sexual energies of incestuous family members and Catholic Priest and Altar boys all the time.
The pain inflicted by a perpetrator may come out of not even understanding the good intent of sexual energy themselves.
The good intent of sexual energy
Masturbation is actually a spiritual practice
Our bodies are the temple of God and in the temple we house a host of Holy Spirits of energies.
We all born with an unlocked abundance of energy that’s meant to fulfill our every need and help to guide and align us to our highest truth.
You can even manifest through masturbation but that’s such a huge subject I’ll leave it for my next article so stay tuned.
I believe many women share my deepest desire to know and explore our highest potential of who we are. We want to know our power Independent of external forces.
To know this power within is a spiritual practice of the highest order.
Our inner power is what masturbation is about… and to not need a man to make me squirt or orgasm makes me feel powerful!…Talk about self esteem!
Any act with the intention of authentic love for self and others is a spiritual practice. Like in the practice of tantra you can use. masturbation as a doorway to enlightenment .
Benefits of masturbation include:
- Euphoria and pleasure reducing stress
- Boost of immune system
- Orgasm burns calories
- Promotes relaxation which release tension therefore better for sleep
- Increase circulation in the body and brain which gives a mental sharpness
- It helps cells in the body rejuvenate
- It inhibits aging
- It helps alleviate pain
Hopefully you were warming up to cutting any limiting beliefs you may have about masturbation; but there’s one final cut we have to make.
Let’s dive in and take a knife to shame.
Removing the Shame of Masturbation
I had conversations with women who believe that masturbation is shameful, wrong, evil or bad because :
They believe their bodies are the temple of God so masturbation is the defiling their bodies ( their temple) and that masturbation should only be experienced only with their husband. Also she mentioned that masturbation could be an addiction.
This is their truth, so I do not judge or make them wrong for thinking the way they do; as long as your opinion doesn’t hurt anyone in anyway….by all means ALWAYS live your truth!
However, nothing could be further from MY truth and the truth of many women I’ve spoken to about masturbation.
Yes masturbation can be at addiction. But then again ANYTHING can be an addiction, worry can be an addiction, working can be an addiction just like drugs and alcohol. Like any great power any tool or anything could be use for good and bad.
If you use masturbation to bring your present to yourself it’s a good tool for enlightenment, confidence and self love.
But if you use masturbation to escape from yourself or to fill a void of something missing, you are not confronting the real issue you’re not trying to be present with yourself, you are running away from yourself, which will eventually cause problems with your self and others
Many women may find it quite uncomfortable to explore their bodies sexually because we are still picking up the sexual shame that we carry for my family, friends, society, religion or culture.
Fear of sex crimes may be in reason why many parents still instill this negative connotation and imprints towards masturbation in the first place; essentially believing that if they nip that sexual curiosity in the bud the possibilities of horrible stories such as sex abuse and teenage pregnancy will be decreased.
The message I got growing up, Is that ALL sexual curiosity before marriage is sinful.
It is important for you to understand that Masturbation is so natural and normal, babies do it. The power of masturbation is embedded in my question to these women :
How can we know our erogenous zones if We don’t explore our bodies or wait for a man to show us our capacity to orgasm?
I wrote to one of these women who thought masturbation was evil the following:
“ Thank you… I am glad you shared your view, that’s amazing.
I don’t agree but I respect it. My religious Mom thinks like you so I know your perspective very well.
To me Masturbation is self love…saying that alone would’ve pissed my mother off🤣
I can’t talk to her about certain things without this extreme discomfort.
So I’m curious on your view on this question:
How can we know our erogenous zones if we don’t explore our bodies or wait for a man to show us our capacity to orgasm?
Co creating in alignment with any human is splendiferous. However…. I ain’t waiting for a man to make me cum sista 😂
Nothing’s wrong with a little help but I thoroughly believe in female independence in all aspects; I’ll feed him grapes when he arrives and he’ll feed me too.
But until then at the end of the day we got our own fruit bowl .. know what I’m sayin? ;) And we can even grow own fruit 🍌”
How to be guilt free; Practical steps to protect your sexy energy
Give yourself permission
The best way to release intense emotion you have suppressed is to give yourself permission to explore your mind and body. Free of shame & free of guilt.
Do you even know what your body looks like naked or Do you even know what your vagina looks like?
A very good way for you to confront yourself better than anything is to give yourself permission to look at yourself in the mirror.
Take note of how you feel when you see yourself naked
Take note of any feelings of shame and embarrassment that may arise.
Give permission to just look at yourself.
If you are a beginner
- Masturbation could be as normal and natural as holding yourself in stillness… just hugging yourself without touching your genitals.
- Give up the expectation of an orgasm. When you give up expectation about of an orgasm through masturbation you give yourself space and permission to just feel and have fun exploring.
You can simply journal then meditate
Here some questions I got from Teal Swan to help you free yourself from shame, remove and release blockage to start loving on your self.
Some eye-opening questions to remove shame and release blockage are:
- What is restricting me
- How am I restricting myself or keeping myself under control?
- What is keeping me from being able to express myself creatively?
- Why am I not allowed to feel pleasure?
- What is wrong about sensuality or sex?
- What am I not allowing myself to feel the sensation of?
- What would be scary about unleashing myself and really feeling my personal power or showing it to other people?
- What would happen if I expect people to relate to me?
- How do I feel about passion?
- When did I feel that I lost a sense of passion and purpose?
It is our responsibility as adults to release these negative imprints on our view of our own sexuality.
At The end of the day it all boils downs to this; self love.
There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who loves herself. Self-love cultivates confidence and confidence is sexy.
To cultivate confident sexy self love; Ask yourself what you would want a partner to do for you, then do that for yourself👌
Make date with yourself
Do you want them to bring you flowers?
Go by some flowers or go into your garden and pick some flowers and put them in a vase
Do you want to go out to dinner?
Go with your laptop or your book to your favorite restaurant and all of your favorite meal.
Do you want to go dancing?
Then look at yourself in the mirror and dance with a glass of wine🍷
Erotic dance is spiritual because it revs up sexual energy and sexual energy is as natural and as sacred as masturbation.
Masturbation is all about self love. Masturbating is making love to yourself. In a way masturbating is a lifestyle
Have fun with it like Cardi B 🎉